Getting old lets you get away with things

When I was 10 years old I went with my Grandma to visit a friend of hers who I will call Mrs. Smith. You can imagine how exciting I thought that was going to be sitting around for the afternoon with two old ladies listening to them talk. I figured the only likely upside would be that old ladies always seem to be awesome at baking, so I was counting on some kind of score in that regard.

Everything started out the way I expected. Blah blah blah. But then I noticed the chess board on a small game table over against the wall. Mrs Smith had been watching me and she asked me if I played chess.

Now I was the chess champion of the 3rd grade. Ok, maybe I wasn't exactly THE champion, but it was a long time ago and my recollection is fuzzy. It's also my story, so I was the champion of the 3rd grade. (I could have decided to say the state, nation, or world at this point and probably have been without anyone challenging me on the statement so personally I think I'm being modest!) At the very least I had played enough chess that my Dad finally stopped winning every game, so I guess I'd gotten pretty good.

"Yes, I play chess all the time", I said with no small amount of pride and chest puffing (see previous paragraph)

"Well why don't we play a game while your Grandma and I talk?" Mrs. Smith replied.

I pulled the table over and we started to play. I figured I would wipe the board with her because she was only half paying attention and I was, after all, the state chess champion that year.

As we played on the conversation continued between Mrs. Smith and my Grandma.

"blah blah blah" Mrs. Smith said

"twitter blah hehe" replied Grandma.

"Check mate" announced Mrs. Smith.

"Yucko blah yehe moo" replied Grandma.

What? I was in a state of mental shock. Here I was a U.S. Chess Champion and somehow I had been beaten by a little old lady. I am certain that I probably betrayed some dissapointment at losing because she offered me a rematch and off we went.

I choose a different opening this time, determined to show no mercy and reclaim my honor. She matched me tit for tat. Suddenly she was in trouble. Her Knight was trapped by my queen and unable to move out of the way. Surely the Knight be lost. She moved her Knight one square to the left like a castle, and said "Your move."

Now this was an illegal move for a Knight, but I was stuck in a quandry. Should I say something? Would it embarrass her? "You can't move there", I finally mumbled. "Oh", she said and moved it back. She moved another piece and I claimed her Knight.

A few more turns and she made another illegal move. This time there wasn't much at stake and I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. I didn't want to embarrass her about her obvious mental lapse. She made a few more illegal moves, each one more blatant than the last, until she finally won the game by moving my own pieces against me. Even then i didn't say anything. How to you accuse a little old lady of cheating?

Now years later I realize that she must have been having the time of her life. It speaks volumes to her self control that she never cracked a smile, and never admitted what she was doing. She just sat there looking innocent the whole time. I'm sure that this story was told in her group of friends for a long time with everyone getting a good laugh at my expense. It warms my heart to think so.

If she hadn't played a perfect game and beat me the first time I might never have figured it out. Maybe her message was not to take myself so seriously. Maybe she was just trying to show me I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. Certainly my head needed some deflating after 3 years of being the all-around North American Chess Champion.