Getting old has advantages

Getting old has several advantages. Take senior discounts for example. Now granted at 38 I just get to feel old but I'm not yet entitled to the discount. But as Jesus said, "You have not because you ask not".

A few days ago I was buying my 2/3 lb bacon cheeseburger with fries and a drink and the nice lady at the register told me my total. I looked her in the eye with my best jedi mind trick pose and said "I think my meal should be free today".

She laughed and said "I can't do that, but I can give you a 10% discount."

"Cool!" I said handing over my credit card. She asked my name for the order and I told her my name was Elvis. (There are a million people named John anywhere you go... so then they rely on last initials, and it is nearly impossible to distinguish between "John F" and "John S" and "John Mpphhsd" in a crowded, noisy restaurant).

"Thank you Mr. Elvis. You have a great day now."

Before I could reply she was already on to the next person in line but I felt like a man carrying a trophy as I sat down with my coworkers. "Guess what? I got a discount!", I said, passing the receipt around. As I launched into my speech about "you have not because you ask not" one of them started to laugh, "They gave you the senior discount. I think they're saying you're old!".

I prefer to think the kind lady at the register simply gave me the discount she would have given the king had he been there. Elvis has left the building.